half past nomad

I came across a book about the history and society of the Roman era. It mentioned that around 10 BC a guy by the name of Ovidius Naso wrote a book titled: “The Art of Love: a Guidebook for the Seduction of Women“.

For purely academic reasons (naturally), I read a few excerpts. I can’t really give you an objective review because unfortunately I am incapable of emotion. This is largely the cause and effect of being a graduate student.

Anyway, Ovid seemed like a plausible person who could help me; his advice began thusly:

“Now I’ll teach you how to captivate and hold the woman of your choice. This is the most important part of all my lessons. Lovers of every land, lend an attentive ear to my discourse; let goodwill warm your hearts, for I am going to fulfill the promises I made you.”

See, that wasn’t too bad.
I was, however, fairly unprepared for the next excerpt:

“Tears too, are a mighty useful resource in the matter of love. They would melt a diamond. Make a point, therefore, of letting your [woman of choice] see your face all wet with tears. Howbeit, if you can’t manage to squeeze out any tears – and they won’t always flow just when you want them to – put your finger in your eyes.”

Yes. He just suggested guys poke themselves in the eyes (or eye if you are a pirate).. Being desi I often eat spicy foods with my hands. I can’t even begin to explain how painful this has been.

I can barely see from my eye now.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, June 13th, 2006 at 2:47 am and is filed under General Lee.