human drama is inevitable
April 13th, 2005 bySo I had never seen a puppy in real life before until recently… I think any animal in its infant stages has to evoke some emotion, no matter how emotionally empty you are. Myself, of course, being the epitome of emptiness. I’m like a blackhole. Wait, actually the opposite, since a blackhole is actually very dense… I think … nevermind. Anyway, this is just my defense for saying “aww” (on the inside!) when I first saw the puppy. You have to understand I am very uncomfortable with the whole notion of vocalizing appreciation for “cute” things. My friend had a son, and I met him 1 year later and while everyone kept saying “aww what a cute baby” I managed to fumble, “whoa cool baby.” Plus it’s way manlier to repress all your feelings… Right?
Regardless, social etiquette demanded I pet the puppy (damn you social etiquette!! Why must you rule my life?!). This brings me to my next painful point: one of my best friends had a cat. Cats are perfect for the emotionally inept person. You can pet them and then they just look around and walk away. Perfect. With the puppy, you pet it and it just stands there.
Damn..
-akds
April 21st, 2005 at 3:21 pm
There’s this great Bizarro comic titled ‘dog pirates of the Carribean’ that shows a host of dog pirates boarding a vessel. “Do not be alarmed!” the dog captain says, “We don’t want your jewels, only your approval!”
April 29th, 2006 at 4:59 am
[...] Naturally, for purely academic reasons, I decided to read a few excerpts. I can’t really give you an objective review because 1) I am incapable of emotion and 2) When I read the emotional novel Broken Wings by Gibran I was thinking the whole time: “Dude get a grip!” – In my defense, come on, one can only lament so much about lost love before you want to super glue the book to stop the sap from leaking. [...]