O Brother, where art thou?
June 23rd, 2004 bySome injuries you carry forever, a little plastic bag with a yellow tag. The details in a paper folder, filed under Permenant Injuries in that cabinet in your mind.
Some injuries you carry eternally, unsure of how to cure them, examining them in new light as you read, as you learn, as you comprehend more.
Some injuries, you wouldn’t have, nay, you don’t know how to have any other way.
You’re sitting in your meditation class as the guru sits cross-legged indian style and calmly speaks of his perspective on life and relationships. And though you’re supposed to be listening to him, your mind darts, jumps, shoots off into those endings that you still carry with you, those non-endings that you do not know where to put down at, that you just pray to God about every night in witr.
You think, each time, each and every single time, to pick up the phone and call halfway across the globe, digits that you never wrote down because you never had to, despite years gone.
You think, each time, of re-unions, of conversations that you would pick up instantly, of connections that you could foster immediately, of so much more.
You think, each time, of the promises you made, of the vows you took, of the ups and downs you went through together.
You think, each and every single time.
And in the end, that’s all you do. You think.
Perhaps some injuries are better left uncured.
Because you pray to God to take care of the rest.
Because it gives you one more reason to beg God.
Perhaps.
June 23rd, 2004 at 1:40 am
I would say, just call. The person on the other end is probably thinking the same thing. Perhaps the other person is asking God to give you the prod to call him. And you’re doing the same. Why not take the first step and gain reward too, Insha’Allah?
June 23rd, 2004 at 11:09 pm
wowee this place looks different! I like the green.
After reading some of your posts, I wonder if commenting on them is even necessary cuz after each post i’m just like, ‘uhunh’. *nod*
But as to what Bushra said and all your ‘perhaps’ thoughts in this last post, sometimes it’s best to do whatever your first instinct is, as long as it’s pure inshaAllah.
Ta ta for now! Take care inshaAllah.
wassalam
June 24th, 2004 at 3:53 am
If one feels something to be a gift from God, if two friends separate at a time when it is right for them to separate, why reconsider the path taken? Perhaps doubt exists; sometimes doubt is better left as such, not as certainty. Sometimes not. may Allah guide you to the proper decision. ameen.