If you want to be somebody else, just change your mind
May 17th, 2004 byI write for a reason.
It’s 3AM, and I’m standing out in the cold with a brother. He cannot believe I’m flying out the next morning, barely 20 hours after I broke the news to him. We’re talking fast, we’re talking excitedly, we’re talking like shaken bottles of pop, bubbling, fizzling, overflowing. We’re trying to say everything and everything we need to, had to. And in the midst of this, he tells me a fact:
“Waleed, Asia, Pakistan, doesn’t know who Waleed is. Waleed can be anybody he wants to. Waleed can do whatever Waleed wants, and Waleed can blow away anybody he wants to”.
All I had to do was change my mind.
Pakistan was a fight. A giant fight. It’s always a fight. Between the punches, I pause time and breath. Between wounds landing on me, I pray to my Lord. All in the space between.
I’m sitting at a wedding, the daytime in between these crazy nights. A distant relative advises me soberly “Here in Pakistan, everything is like boxing. Either you land a bigger punch or your opponent will. Either you punch first or get punched first”. And this man worked hard at providing for his family.
I’m sitting in my house, the one room we had momentarily. And I’m trying to understand this country, these people, this blood that apparently flows in me and you both the same. I half succeed, I half fail. I don’t know how much I even wish to connect to them. Lying back, I seek guidance from the Prophet (pbuh) and the Sahaba’s. Eyes closed, I try to float amongst facts and will to myself an appropriate hadith or event.
I’m reading a book on my laptop. Around the time when Khalid bin Waleed was removed as the Commander of the Armies, his second in command signed a treaty that went against the wishes of Khalid. However, it being the treaty of this specific man, he respected it, and gave the occupants of the city the 3 days to pack up and leave, with all the war booty that was supposed to be theirs.
He waited the 3 days as he had promised.
And then he attacked. He and his men rode out the journey of those 3 days like lightening, struck and gained back all that war booty.
I’m in my village, my 2nd visit in life. In punjabi, it’s called pind. I’m standing at the edge of this house and staring at vast growths that are supposed to be mine, lands that I own. Lands I’ve never stood upon. Next to me stands my dad’s cousin, with a passion for our family history. He’s dug up almost everything about us prior to Pakistan, and traced our family tree back over 7 generations.
We were Arabs once. Called over by the Moghuls, we sailed over to teach Islam, Quran and Arabic to the locals. My ancestor settled down locally and we’re direct descendants. Direct descendants of a man who belonged to the tribe of Khalid bin Waleed, The Sword of Allah.
And that, m’dear, explains why I look more Arab then Pakistani.
ps: For the record, we were all really really excited to hear this.
I hope you are too.
May 17th, 2004 at 5:27 pm
waleed is a shexy, shexy man
May 17th, 2004 at 6:08 pm
I remember many years ago, watching an Adam’s World video and they had a segment about Pakistan. It said that Pakistan was a country that was created for any Muslim that needed a home, (or something along those lines) and that is why ‘Pakistanis’ can vary in their looks so much. I think that a nicer way to think of Pakistan, than thinking of it as the Muslim India.
Reflecting on it, I wonder if one could say that Pakistan is kindof like Canada, without a specific culture of it’s own, but rich in the cultures of others.
May 17th, 2004 at 10:35 pm
He he, you’re back in Pakistan already? We’ren’t you *just* here?
May 18th, 2004 at 1:09 am
I’m in the Middle East.
I don’t know why I chose to write in present tense. Perhaps you can help me out with my english there ma’am. =)
May 18th, 2004 at 1:38 am
if you name your future son (inshallah) Khalid, and he becomes Khalid ibn Waleed, then HIS story will be even cooler than your story is (and your story — liking Khalid ibn Waleed, then finding out that you’re kinda sorta related to him — IS pretty cool).
May 18th, 2004 at 2:56 am
no thas not fair – anju said it first.
khalid ibn waleed ibn [ignore here] khalid ibn waleed.
its likea palindrome. almost. ok maybe not.
but k ibn. w was a cool man. yo … hmm, maybe i should go find out abt lankan muslim history cuz someone was telling me sometime ago and it was fascinating.
we’re all such mixed up ppl.
and the boxing analogy was cool. very.
May 18th, 2004 at 4:30 am
Don’t all Pakistanis want to have Arab roots? My daddy told me my ancestors were Arab because our tribe can be traced back to Ali, the son-in-law of the Prophet Mohammad. Yay us! Heeee!
Nobody wants to even entertain the idea that their ancestors may’ve been Hindus who were converted, right?
May 18th, 2004 at 7:06 am
that might been me.
yo but i have a technical question – how do you people trace your family roots like this? do they keep records in villages? cuz i don’t think the pops’ village did/does. though i might be wrong cuz i never asked …
and *sigh* the jordanian royal family thinks they’re all cool cuz they claim to be related to the prophet too. there’s a problem there.
May 18th, 2004 at 1:45 pm
for the record: i was excited.
i seriously was.
May 19th, 2004 at 2:27 am
when you have nothing to say but you feel like you should one of the more obnoxious things i’ve heard is: it’s all relative
ok that had nothing to do with your post. but that’s very cool that you’re related to khalid ibn waleed
May 19th, 2004 at 4:24 am
all desi muslims are direct (or indirect) descendants of ali
if you’re a “syed,” that is
May 19th, 2004 at 6:56 am
what if you are a ’sayed’ or a ’syeed’ or a ’sayeed’? does that count?
May 19th, 2004 at 9:25 am
yo man we’re all indirect relatives of each other.
we should have a family reunion sometime.
and i could meet my uncle’s sister’s wife’s brother’s son’s neice’s neighbour’s dog’s friend’s daughter maybe.
who knows.
May 19th, 2004 at 12:34 pm
my dad’s got a family tree that traces us Ansaris to Abu Ayuub Ansari (ra) (the guy who hosted the prophet in madinah cuz His camel stopped in front of his house) .. i think it’s pretty exciting, not cuz he was arab, but because it gives me a rich muslim history, heritage that i can claim to be a part of, and proud of; however superficially; and it adds meaning to my name. so there
May 19th, 2004 at 12:45 pm
We’re all kids of Adam (AS).
May 19th, 2004 at 11:20 pm
Bushra: Ameen, I think you said it all.
May 20th, 2004 at 12:21 am
don’t forget Howa (AS).
your first momma.
May 20th, 2004 at 11:58 pm
Someone was once teasing me and saying I was half Christian (because my mother is Christian). I said I wasn’t half Christian any more than she was part Hindu because of her great-great-great grandfathers were Hindu. She became very very offended and I said, “What religion do you think Pakistanis and Indians were before Islam? You’re all just a bunch of former Hindus!”
She sniffed and said, “*My* family must have been Buddhist.”
I laughed. It’s so funny how much people care about their ancestry. Everyone has good and bad ancestors, and we all go back to Prophet Adam (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him).
Especially me. :p
May 22nd, 2004 at 3:09 am
my paki ancestors are persian. Durrani’s rocked persia
June 14th, 2004 at 9:04 am
Let me share my thoughts with you on this topic. I went to our village before Waleed did. I had not been there for 22 years.
During that time, I had lived in several exciting places and accomplished much. Many were envious of that. I did not understand why because I thought I had worked very hard to deserve it. But as reality hits you wham bam in your face when you are on your own and not dependent on your parents, you realize what life is truly all about.
And when I stood and looked at the vast expanse of land that was my brothers’ heritage, it hit me. After travelling the world over, I was finally home. There was unspoken peace and tranquility. And then I cried for what I had never valued, and those relatives never gave up, inspite of hard times.
Then I found out about our ancestors. Our roots had pulled us back to our origin and given us so much. Yet we never understood. Then I did. The earth always calls you back to where you came from. And I found some relief.
While I appreciate all comments here, I feel you have not yet experienced who you really are. Go live, explore, and know.
May 5th, 2006 at 2:28 am
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July 21st, 2006 at 9:30 am
im jamaican!
October 21st, 2006 at 7:43 am
sadiya
my paki ancestors are persian. Durrani’s rocked persia
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That’s my family name half on my mom’s and half on my dad’s side. Does that mean we’re like related in some way:P