of pleasant, soothing, insanities

November 4th, 2003 by

His raspy voice stretches out of the speakers, almost grating against the metal mesh as it escapes into the real world. Digital music, translated into forgotten memorable audio moments. The strands of guitar plucked, struck and released echoes against the walls, bouncing dancing moving.

Whilst this goes on in a silent room, in a room where I haven’t spoken out loud for over 3 hours now, I wonder about phrases I’ve never said or had to use:
-Halt! Who goes there? Friend or foe?
-Yes! The pizza is late by 2 mins!
-That’s right dammit, I am straight and proud of it. What makes you think otherwise?
-Despite the high humidity, your clown makeup still looks great. sexy even.
-I think I’ll get a pedicure today.
-Yes Maryam, please clean your mouth on my pants.
-Damn, this kitten is cute as a button, if a button could be as cute as a kitten.
-For once, I wish I could stuff Polly with all the crackers she wants.

Earlier today, I wondered what it feels like to be a giant monster, a Godzilla loose in a sky scraper city. What it feels like to smash buildings smaller then you, trample cars cheap and rare alike, watch little people scamper about with high pitched screeches. I wonder what it would be like to grab airplanes in mid-air and once again ponder why the quiet machine started vibrating and ringing like my giant cell phone.
I think I need to build me a Lego city and then go a tramplin’.

What a perfect Eid gift.

19 Responses to “of pleasant, soothing, insanities”

  1. yasmine Says:

    Random guess on your first paragraph: Is that Dave Matthews you’re talking about? I dunno, I read it and thought of Dave Matthews. So if I’m right, then you’ve got great description skills. =)

    Anyway, hilarious post, Waleed. hahaha. So now I’m trying to think of funky words/phrases, too, but the only one that comes to mind at the moment is, “Hark!” So melodramatic. I gotta use that for reals sometime.

    And I was going to suggest building log-cabins out of crayons, but upon further reflection your lego-city seems far more high-tech. Before it gets all smashed to bits, that is. Let the fun begin, yo.

  2. Waleed Says:

    That’s Dave Matthews, Rob Thomas and Johnny Rzeznik blurring into each at 4AM.

    And yes, ‘Hark!’. One more phrase I have not yet used. So many phrases, so little time.

  3. Bushra Says:

    Not a bad Eid gift. WHat you need is to be Lex Luthor for a day. Really.

  4. Owl Says:

    You wanna be Godzilla? I’m sure for a small fee that can be arranged.

  5. Waleed Says:

    Lex Luthor Bushra? Why would that be fun?

    And Owl, make it so! Eid is in 3 weeks. =)

  6. chai Says:

    godzilla’s cool and all but i would be batman anyday.

  7. Jaded Says:

    Hmm I used to pretend I was Wonder Woman when I was a kid, yup. Scary.

    Lex Luthor was way cool, be him Waleed, go on!
    :D

  8. Waleed Says:

    But why would I wanna be Lex??

  9. Faiza Says:

    I don’t get it. What’s stopping you from using those phrases?

  10. yasmine Says:

    I’m trying to imagine Waleed wandering down Main Street, Smalltown, USA, musing to himself, “I think I’ll get a pedicure today.”
    That’s just hilarious.

    Maybe some of those phrases just aren’t applicable at the moment, Faiza.

  11. chai Says:

    for some reason i imagined him stomping around senselessly and eating lego sized people.

  12. adnan Says:

    “That’s right dammit, I am straight and proud of it. [b[What makes you think otherwise?[/b]”

    [i]“-I think I’ll get a pedicure today.”[/i]

    I rest my case.

  13. phathima Says:

    you know what I’M getting someone for eid -
    no of course you dont -
    but i digress -

    im getting calvin n hobbes. :D

    can u believe it, hes practically 17 n never read c&h. :O.
    n the thing is, its PERFECT fo him. a crazy kid if there ever was one.
    but now – now – :’( – i need money. $18 to be almost precise.
    im broke.
    donations would be muchly appreciated.

  14. Bushra Says:

    SO you want to be a “giant monster, a Godzilla loose in a sky scraper city, and smash buildings smaller then you, trample cars cheap and rare alike, watch little people scamper about with high pitched screeches, grab airplanes in mid-air and go tramplin’” and you dont know why that makes you like ol’ Lex?
    To elucidate= Lexxy wants to rule the world.

    Dont mind me. He’s one of my heroes, right after Superman.

  15. Owl Says:

    Hmm, I could Fedex you my dinasaur feet house slippers, complete with roaring action. Just put them on and you’re set.

    And when I was in high school, I was called Batman. Can’t rightly remember why. Had something to do with a cape maybe.

  16. Waleed Says:

    Phatima: Are you serious? No C&H ever? Man, that’s one of the best comics ever written. The wisdom that young child displayed was far more then seen in adults at time.
    Though he did pull Suzy’s pigtails a lot…

    Adnan: Damn straight boy! =)

    And Chai, now you have me thinking of that ad with the little boy playing with his teddy bear graham crackers and eating them up. I think I have some in my backpack. Me eat with milk.

    But Bushra, Lex wants to rule the world; I simply want to trample and get high on extensive sky scraper destruction. Is that too much to ask?

    Though I must admit that second to that, Owl’s dinasaur slipper idea does sound super appealing. I was at the movies in the Union a few days back and since it’s the campus union, folks come casual. Upon exit, I spotted one young lady wearing her giant animal slippers. =)

    I still just want to be Godzilla. No superhero, no supervillian. Just Godzilla.

  17. sisterscorp Says:

    Your neice is gorgeous ma sha Allah. Read the former post about her– and yep, same way with my own girls– just when I think I dont have a maternal bone in my body, some kid picks on them, or one falls down or gets frightened, and I turn into an instant dragon. Go figure

  18. chai Says:

    remember d&d? oh i just corner myself into being a geek.

  19. sisterscorp Says:

    forget that, what about those “choose your own adventure” books LOL

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