of shovels and shallow graves

September 16th, 2003 by

Yet then again there are moments when you let the silence speak volumes, giant encyclopedias of absolute compressed verbal muteness. Pages and pages of white words on white paper, a wooden pen dripping with ink, the ink burning away everything but nothing eventually. Then take your words and re-examine them, pick them up and twist them around, stretch them far and watch them come, poke them hard and see them steadfast remain. Let them float above your head as you walk down the street, let them bobble ghostly as you hobble mentally. Every breath is a reminder of their existence, every glance is a pause to see them be. Forgetfulness is a mercy, each reminder a sharp jab of reality.

Should you choose to swallow your words then bury them deep, be the verbal gravedigger and do your duty, faithfully, soberly. and painfully.
<Gravedigger>
when you dig my grave
could you make it shallow
so I can feel the rain.
</Gravedigger>

But let your conscience decide when you come to your personal fork…

13 Responses to “of shovels and shallow graves”

  1. Owl Says:

    What are you studying, btw?

  2. Waleed Says:

    Insha-allah, I’m wrapping up my Master’s in Instructional Design and Technology in December.

    What about you?

  3. yasmine Says:

    swallowing the words is so hard sometimes, especially if you’re me and say too many things without thinking them through beforehand. and because my conscience doesn’t do its duty as well as it should when it comes to the words i speak, i’m not as haunted by what i say as i should be. it’s a sad dilemma. if that made any sense at all.

    and i know i’ve said this before, but masha’Allah, your writing is amazing (for lack of a better word at the moment).

  4. Waleed Says:

    But what is harder. Swallowing them or watching them wreak havoc once Pandorian?
    In each case, you’re to suffer, for the words themselves have wrought plenty from you, an extension of what slowly grows in you.

    I’m too vague for my own good sometimes.

    To suffer is to love? I don’t know.
    To ache is to grow? Then why am I still this short.
    To breathe or not to breathe, that is the question mmm.

    jaza kala khair for your appreciation. Alhamdulilah, sometimes it just comes out right. Such is an instructional designer writer blogger’s life.

    just keep enjoying. that’s all.

  5. Owl Says:

    I have no idea what an instructional designer is. I’m surprised you’re not majoring in writing of some sort, since you’re so dang good at it. (unless of course, a instructional designer IS a writer…. I wouldn’t know)

    And me, I’m not studying, I’m working. I’m supposed to go back and get my masters, but reality got in the way.

  6. Waleed Says:

    =)
    In Instructional Design, we design, implement and evaluate effective educational material in order to meet an instructional need, in both academic and corporate environments.

    Hope that helps. I looked up my own dept website but it lacked a phrase definition.

    As for being a writer, after having read Yasmine’s uber long post, which mentioned her collection of novels, I am a novice in the field of reading and writing. To put up a good post is actually quite the work, and afterwords , I wait a few days before I can gather up the energy/strength to be able to…exhale verbally again.

    jaza kala khair Owl. If it helps, I did almost minor in French.

  7. Waleed Says:

    What did you study in your undergraduate then Owl?

  8. Faiza Says:

    Beautiful post.

  9. yasmine Says:

    lol these days, most of the reading and writing I do seems to be related to weblogs. My poor books, they’re turning into bookcase versions of coffeetable decorations, good only for lookin at. Can’t be having that. terrible.

  10. Owl Says:

    Now that sounds like a cool field, really useful and very much needed. What are you going to do with your degree?

    I studied journalism and English, thus, I’m an English journalist.

  11. Waleed Says:

    I have 6 books on my waiting table Yasmine. Each one I don’t want to part with, comfortable with the illusion of possession.

    Owl: Huh. Journalism. So what publishing organization do you currently occupy your attention with on the streets of Islamabad?

    After this I am looking at some doctorate programs and jobs preferably in the academia field.

  12. Owl Says:

    Hrm, I’m not doing anything on the streets of Islamabad, just in a a small office I call my cave. It’s where the editing troll lurks. I’m the acting EinC of a news agency that no one’s ever heard of and once in a while I write features.

    Doctorate programs? Does that mean you’re getting your PhD then?

  13. Waleed Says:

    Insha-allah I would like to. But I need more work experience, published works, etc, for a good program and deadlines are looming.

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